Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize