shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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