I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
