smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
