I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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