We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
