I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
