My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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