OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
