yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
