i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
