go do what you do best...puke behind churches
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
