dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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