I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
