Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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