she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
