Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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