Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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