her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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