She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
