yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
