Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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