His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
