i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
