I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
