New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
