I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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