I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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