You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
