I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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