hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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