Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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