its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
