It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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