last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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