I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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