the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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