If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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