This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
