i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
