um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
