Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
