Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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