You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
