you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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