I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
