He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
