Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
