Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is Oprah even human
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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