I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
