I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize