Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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