We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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