so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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