is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
