Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
