her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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