We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
