All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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