Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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