Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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