Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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