So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
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